Gravity starring... Arnold Schwarzenegger

What if Arnold Schwarzenegger replaced Sandra Bullock in Gravity? Here's the frighteningly convincing answer:

Trailers: The Last Stand, Bullet to the Head

I'll admit that I wasn't too crazy about the '80s-action-hasbeen-revival-fest that was The Expendables - the idea seemed funny on paper, but watching the film was completely something else: a dreadful, eye-rolling experience which didn't match the novelty of its casting. But this nostalgia for over-the-hill action heroes ain't going away any time soon with The Expendables 2 on the way, and these two forthcoming vehicles for Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But I have higher hopes for Bullet to the Head and The Last Stand than The Expendables 2, because:

• They're both solo outings, which means Stallone and Arnie have more time to uh, shine and won't need to vie for attention amidst other stars. One of the things that killed The Expendables for me was star-studded suffocation.
• Directors: Bullet to the Head pairs Stallone up with one of the greats of the genre from the late '70s/early '80s, Walter Hill (Hard Times, 48 Hrs.). The Last Stand is directed by one of South Korea's top filmmakers of the moment, Kim Jee-woon (The Good, The Bad, The Weird, A Bittersweet Life).

Having said that, though these trailers are pretty fun, I also wouldn't be surprised if the films turned out to be lemons either. Time to hang up the guns and retire gracefully guys - your time has come and gone. :)

'Cos it's pretty dreary outside...

Let's watch aaall the breaking glass in Total Recall, and Bruce Willis sell his dignity in a couple of TV commercials for a Russian bank (from the director of Torque no less):